The weather has been clear the past several days in Seattle and citizens have reported seeing a USO--Unidentified Shining Object--in the sky.
I’m told that in far-off lands--in a place called Arizona, for example--these sightings are common, and that the shining object is called The Sun. Where I live this object is rarely seen, at least at this time of year. Our local TV stations have dispatched news teams to cover the Sun Sightings. I must admit that, as a former journalist, I too have sensed the importance and the gravity of this event, and have taken camera in hand.
I was in Seattle yesterday and noticed that, as the day drew to an end, the Shining Object seemed to descend lower and lower into the western sky. Clouds near the horizon took on an unbelievable color. The city’s best-known landmark, the Space Needle, suddenly listed to the right and appeared for a moment as if it was about to tip over (I’m almost positive I was holding the camera level.)
This morning, more USO-related weirdness was afoot. Shadows that one never sees here in January were cast by the curtains in my bathroom window. Our medicine cabinet looked frighteningly spooky. I think I heard tiny aliens inside, stealing my deodorant. Later I went into the kitchen where Leah had placed tulips on the table. The tulips were fairly glowing in a way that I suspect indicates dangerous levels of radiation.
I FEAR FOR MY LIFE!
