Maybe we all have moments in our lives as adults that make us feel insecure, weird, or awkward, and I suspect I’m not alone when I say that sometimes I feel like I’m back in junior high. But because I happen to be married to a woman who I first met in seventh grade, I think I have more reason than most folks to mentally time-travel back to a world of pimples, fart jokes, and a painful desire to be part of The Crowd.
I am 50-some years old and I still want my wife to think I’m one of the Cool Kids.
I was out in our yard the other day and I had taken my glasses off and set them aside. Minutes later I noticed that a tiny, bug-eyed frog had hopped up and laid claim to my specs. Call me paranoid but I think Mr. Bug Eyes was mocking my eyesight. Like that! I was back at Central School and was part the crowd sitting in the stands at a junior high basketball game. The other kids and I were laughing as some smartass (and I was much to polite a kid to do this) yelled at the ref (who invariable was bald) “HEY CHROME DOME, YOU NEED GLASSES!!!” If the poor (I suspect volunteer) sports official already wore glasses, then the smartass would loudly bellow “NICE CALL, FOUR EYES!!!”
Fifty-some years old.
I’m SO freaking weird.
