Friday, March 13, 2009

Big Fat Liar!


Folks around here generally mind their own business. That’s a good thing because I think our sheep Sweet Pea is trying to convince anyone within hearing distance that he is underfed and mistreated. He stands in our pasture, bellowing the most pathetic-sounding baaas. And do you know why? It’s because, in these tight economic times, I’m trying to feed him regular grass hay, rather than the fancy-ass, twice-as-expensive orchard grass hay he’s gotten in the past.

Somebody explain the recession to Sweet Pea, will you? Somebody please tell my sheep friend the meaning of the word BUDGET.

I’ve decided I’m going to retaliate. If this spoiled -- and, dare I say fat -- fleecy fellow is going to make a big, noisy show as a way of maligning my reputation with the neighbors, I think I’m justified in using this post to defend myself.

Yesterday I went out to the pasture, put a camera in front of Sweet Pea’s face, and fired the shutter, just as he let out one of his phoney-baloney, I’m-starving baaas. Later, I followed him into the barn and shot the picture you see below, Sweet Pea standing near his hay feeder -- full to the brim, I might add -- looking at me, as if to say: “You don’t really expect me to eat this peasant’s hay, do you?”

I showed Sweet Pea my photographic evidence and I told him his performance was shameful. He nose-smudged my camera and bellowed:

BAAA!