If you are a woman and you enjoy gardening, I have some advice for you:
Don’t let a MAN come into your garden!
Yes, I’m a male, and I’ll probably get kicked out of The Man Club for divulging Man Secrets. But I am heavy with guilt over my own gardening transgressions, and perhaps some truth-telling will help me begin the healing process. Women Gardeners, Hear This Truth: Your boyfriend or husband or even son will come around while you are blissfully planting or weeding in your garden and he will offer “help.” Before you can say the word testosterone, you’ll be hearing "suggestions," then "advice" on how to do things. Soon you will feel like the Huns have invaded your sacred, goddess space. I make my admission to the above crimes, and plead Guilty As Charged.
Women! Put a fence around your garden now, while there is still time! Vile, smelly invaders threaten your borders!
My own dear wife Leah will read the above and nod her head knowingly. She finally got so tired of me meddling in her garden--offering my based-on-no-knowledge ideas about what we should plant or how we might mulch--that she ceded the territory to me. “YOU know so much, YOU do the gardening,” she said, a remarkable and scary (to me) calm in her voice. It occurred to me later that the poor woman has become resigned to the ways of her vile, smelly life-mate.
And though the garden yesterday gave us wonderful, juicy strawberries, I fear I have not yet been granted a full-time pass out of the doghouse.
“Hostile takeover,” she grumbled as we shared the berries.
